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But biblical forgiveness is more than a feeling. Said another way, we should maintain an attitude of forgiveness. Rather, we should offer forgiveness to all. Christians are not called to automatically forgive every offense. In reality, I wonder if Grammer's automatic forgiveness isn't packing bitterness and unforgiveness into the depths of his soul.Ĭontrary to what many say, in my book, Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds, I argued that forgiveness is conditional. Someone has probably told him that he should forgive for his own sake-that unconditional forgiveness is the route to freedom. As a result, he is trying to do the right thing and forgive his sister's killer. Grammer believes people of faith should always automatically forgive offenders. It's at this point, if I were visiting with Grammer, that I would gently suggest that he has misunderstood what God requires. Grammer believes that God requires him to forgive his sister's killer: "I am a man of faith and my faith teaches me that I must forgive." Notice the part I emphasized with italics. I can never accept the notion that he can pay for that nightmare with anything less than his life. It allows me to love my children and my wife and the days I have left with them.īut, I can never escape the horror of what happened to my sister. I am a man of faith and my faith teaches me that I must forgive.
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Yes, time has helped, but we will never be free. We, whose lives were so altered by his selfishness and brutality, have spent those years in a prison of our own. It has been many years since the murders and he has spent many years in jail. Please consider, when you wrestle with the fate of this man that killed my sister, the degree of suffering he has inflicted on his victims but also on the families of his victims. Grammer's thoughts about forgiveness in his letter to the parole board continue to be on my mind. Under no circumstances should this killer ever taste freedom in this life. Parole was denied, and I certainly agree.
#Unpacking forgiveness free
Grammer wrote an impassioned letter to the parole board members, asking them not to free his sister's killer. This summer, 34 years later, Freddie Glenn is eligible. (See link here). At that time, Colorado offered the possibility of parole for those with life sentences. He has felt guilty ever since because he wasn't there to protect his sister.Įventually, a man named Freddie Glenn was convicted of Karen's murder, as well as two other murders. He said that Karen was his best friend and the best person he knew. Three men kidnapped, raped, and killed her. Shortly thereafter, she was abducted as she left her waitressing job. In the seventies, Grammer's 18-year-old sister Karen graduated from high school and moved to Colorado. But the most devastating loss for Grammer may have been the murder of his sister, Karen.
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A shark killed his twin brothers while they were scuba diving. When Grammer was only 13 years old, his father was murdered. To understand why Grammer is on my mind, you need to know something of the awful tragedies he has endured. I have three lovely sisters and two beautiful daughters, and I simply cannot imagine what he has gone through. Yet, they end up hurting all the more.īefore I write anything more, I want to go on record saying that I have prayed for Kelsey Grammer. Grammer has me thinking about well intentioned people who end up "packing unforgiveness." Where deep wounds are concerned, there are those who try and do what they believe faith requires. It's not because I saw a rerun of Cheers. This book goes beyond a feel-good doctrine of automatic forgiveness, balancing the beauty of God''s grace and the necessity of forgiveness with the teaching that forgiveness must take place in a way that is consistent with justice.I've been thinking recently about something television star Kelsey Grammer said. The wounds are too deep for us to find healing on our own, and the questions are too complex to be unraveled by anything but the wisdom of God. Unpacking Forgiveness combines sound theological thinking and honesty about the complicated questions many face to provide readers with a solid understanding of biblical forgiveness. The truth is, pastors and counselors disagree profoundly on this subject. "True or false: most Christian pastors and counselors agree on what forgiveness is and how it should take place." This question is part of Chris Brauns''s Forgiveness Quiz that draws readers into his book and gets them thinking about the subject of forgiveness. Helps readers move beyond the wounds and baggage of bitterness, disagreements, and broken relationships.